June 28, 2004

For those that wish to be consumer savvy

I've was doing real good Sunday. I bought a lot of books and the sound track to The Boy From Oz on line at amazon (by the way, I do have my wish list, and my birthday is on the 15th-lol). And then when at boarders I bought the new Sugarcult CD, Palm Trees and Power Lines. So when I got home from Boarders I was looking through the sale adds when I saw a electric bicycle on sale for $400. I was ecstatic. It was exactly what I wanted! I could get to and fro school on that! Woo pie! No more cheese Wagon!


Needless to sat my brilliant plan fell through. This morning mom gave me a lift to Target where I got to look at the bike. Sirens should have gone off in my head the moment I realized that they had it pinned to the wall with those little zip ties. Then when we had to find someone to bring out a box so that we could find out if it was legal (ie. did it have a horn and how fast could it go) the box they brought out was crushed and horribly disfigured.

But I persisted. The box was too big to take home in mom's car, so I decided to just come back later with dad. Okay, sounds good so far right? Right. Well mom suggested going to Pep Boys and seeing what they had. They had one very similar to the one at Target, except in silver. And it was of much better quality. And a hundred dollars more. Oh did I ever mention that it was Me buying this? Not the 'rents.

Well I decided to go for the Target one, and when dad got home we headed out. We got it, put it in the truck, and came home. I was happy. It was all going good. Granted my bank account has about $400 less. We dragged the bike from the box, I wheeled it to the back yard, dragged the box into the back yard. Got the keys from the ignition and started to open the locks looking for the instruction book and the pedals (they weren't attached!). Well the first lock I found was the battery lock, And I put the key in. Turned the key. And nothing happened. The battery was stuck. So I turned the key again. And the battery was still stuck. I put the key back in the up position and pulled it out, and started looking for the next lock under the million layers of bubble wrap. When I finally found the next lock, and held up the key, guess what I saw!!

The key was still attached to the lock.

The little alarms in my head started ringing and shouting "OH SHIT!!" I tried to unhook the lock from the key, and a bunch of little brass-colored metal pieces shot out of the lock, about 6 all over the place. Can you say Crappa? Well I goatherd up all the pieces of the lock, got my key off of it, and took the pieces up into the kitchen and showed them to mom and dad. Dad looked at it and said "I had a car that did that once... It was a FORD". Well, my good day was going down hill fast.

So at that point I put the lock in a plastic baggie and went back down to the bike to find the instruction manual so I could call the company and whine. As I was opening the various compartments (and under the seat compartment and a glove-type box) I didn't find it. But there was no manual and I had yet to find the pedals. I wasn't worried, there was still another compartment (did I mention that every compartment has a lock? None of the others broke). So I took the key, inserted attempted to insert it into the lock. The key didn't fit the lock. Oh my! So I tried the other key on the chain, no go. Neither worked. I asked dad to try, no go, neither worked. So here I was with an electric bicycle, no pedals, no battery lock, no power cord, no instruction book, and 2 worthless keys, and all this for the low, low price of $399!!

I looked on the box and found an interesting sticker. It said "STOP! Do Not Return To Retailer. Call O-URC-RAP-SUCK".

Screw that! Me and dad are taking it back tomorrow and throwing a fit.

Oh and if your looking for a moral... um... never buy a really crappy electric bicycle from Target. They'll steal your pants and then arrest you for indecent exposure (I've been waiting to use that line for a week now).

March 07, 2004

I knew it!

I'm an Atheist!

Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You?

Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons

January 06, 2004

New Years Adventures: The Cute Friend

The first segment of the New Years adventure is here.

About an hour after the Creepy Lady left, Michelle's phone started ringing. She immediately found it, and answered it. And with in seconds threw it down the hall into the play room.

Blink. Blink. "What was that for!?"

"Oh that was just *Billy, He's an ass."


Ring Ring.

We start searching for the phone, luckily the caller was insistent-or they knew Michelle really well. I found the phone. :) and hand it to Michelle "What do you want?" No Hi, not Hey, must be billy. After a few minutes of listening to the one sided conversation she says "Okay" and hangs up. Me Liz and Tegan stare at her waiting for her to speak. She said something along the lines of "He wants to drop by for half an hour, and he's bringing a cute friend, I wouldn't trust his judgment though. It up to you guys." I shrug. Liz doesn't care. Tegan says "Why the hell not."

Half an hour later, the bell rings. Liz opens it, I'm the bathroom, and Tegan is doing her makeup despite us telling her it wasn't necessary. I came out of the bathroom as Liz was coming down the hall and she whispers urgently in my ear "The cute friend is a CHICK!" Liz runs off and leaves me the dreadful task of telling Michelle and Tegan, i slowly went to the bedroom that they're in, and i grab Tegan's eye liner right as she went to grab for it. And upon her quizzical look, i slowly state that the cute friend is a chick. Michelle storms out of the room, and soon drags the guy into another room and they start arguing.

Among the things we overheard clearly from across the hall was "But I thought she was cute" and "Your F***Buddy?!! Thats it, Get out! Get out of this house!"

They left. And we started playing games again. Part Three Tomorrow.

*Billy- I couldn't remember his name.

January 05, 2004

New Years Adventures: Creepy Lady

So the New Years party I went to was a blast, and I'm finally recovered enough to discuss it. Heres how it started.

I showed up and was the first one there so i helped Michelle set up, we got out tons of food, set up the stereo/karaoke system, pushed the coffee table to the wall, etc. etc. etc.

Tegan and Liz showed up, and we started to go through Cd's, looked at what every one brought, that type of stuff. Tegan brought Orange Juice for Rebbecca (the chaperon) because Rebbecca was in her room sick-we left her alone all night, i don't think she much cared. And Liz brought a Party Pack with those annoying blower-thingies, confetti, hats, and Leis. So after we were all leid we started to listen to music and play a couple games. During a break from the games, I was sitting in a chair by the door when theres a knock, Tegan and Liz are busy singing Brittany Spears (Gag) and Michelle is in the kitchen putting a pizza in the oven so i just open the door. I'm about to ask who it is when this lady just barges in.

Tegan and Liz stop what their doing, and stared for a second before sitting down. And the lady moves into the room like she owns the house. I go to sit down when she pushes me and sits down instead, I start backing up as I catch a whiff of her, she smells like beer. I'm like dude, not cool.

So the creepy lady is sitting there staring at us when she stands up real quick and says "Do you girls want some food" (very slurred) and we all make polite noises in her direction declining. Michelle comes in and stands there wonder what to do and she goes gets Rebbecca, so while shes dragging Rebbecca out of her bed we're just standing there kinda creeped out. Tegan stands up to go into the kitchen, and i follow, grabbing an empty cup so i look like I'm doing something, and Tegan whispers to me "I want that lady out! Shes scary" to which i never replied because the lady asks Liz what we're doing. Liz can see us talking, and she covers and says were play fighting. The lady comes to the door way and stands there staring.

All of a sudden the lady goes "Stop p**** fighting and fight for real. I'd pay for it." We kinda freak out, but theres no where to go, even Liz starts creeping towards the back bedroom to find whats taking Rebbecca so long. The lady then looks at Tegan and says "you know your really pretty, how old are you?"

Tegan humbly replies "17" and moves so I'm in front of her (I was so mad). And then the lady says "Too bad, your really pretty for 17..." and she comes around to the other side, Tegans trying to turn me so I'm in front of her, but I'm just not going to stand there as a shield, i want that lady out! Finally the lady can see Tegan because i move and pretend to check on the Pizza, and the lady just STARES at Tegan.

FINALLY Rebbecca comes out, she looks like crap, and she talks to the lady for a few minutes before gently pushing her out the door and locking both the regular lock and the dead bolt. Rebbecca then said something unintelligible and dragged herself back to her bed.

So ends the Creepy Lady Story. Next up: Cider Shots.

November 24, 2003

Thanksgiving break.

So tell me, why is it that when a holiday BREAK comes up, all the teachers decide to give us homework and projects?? Let me detail all the projects I have.

Math: (haven't gotten details yet) A science experiment on how much mass a rubber band can hold. Barf. I did this lab the summer before 8th grade. I hope I still have it in my files.

History: No details-get it tomorow.

Speech and Drama: Work on a Dramatic Inturpretation of a poem (20 lines)

Chem: None-thank goodness

English: Essay comparing the novels Night and All Quite on the Western Front. (And I can't find the second book-bah!). My thesis statement: "Both Wiesel and Remarque use words that portray animal behaviour and instincs during emotional points of the novel."

Technical Theater: Design Costumes. More on that in a latter post.

Gym/Health: None. No one would actually do it, so they don't bother assigning any projects.

So thats how many? 5 out of 7. GAH!!! Too Much!

October 09, 2003

Mookie Answers

As asked by Susie:

As you probably know, I have a number of high schoolers in my employ. The guys all get along; the girls' friendships seem to fluctuate on a daily basis. Since I make the schedule a week ahead of time, chances are that on any given day at least two of the girls aren't speaking to each other (or worse, are screaming at each other). So my question is, is there any way to predict who will be hating whom a week from Tuesday?

You have several choices:

A) Never schedule girls that are PMSing
B) Hire all boys
C) Get a punk and let them smack all the girls when they start being stupid.

Daniel Asks:
Okay, here's my question:
Is being Mookie-Riffic a new type of religion/belief system? Because I want to be Daniel-riffic, but I don't know if that meshes with Judaism...

Yes Riffic-ism is compatiable with all religions. Because you see a Riffic-ism is simply one persons beliefs wraped up in one word. What makes it an -Ism is when the Riffic is applyed to the end of someones name, symbolizing that that person is wonderful, lovely, and wise. So yes Mookie Riffic is a religion/belief system, and yes you cna be Daniel-riffic, but it just wouldn't be as good.

As for the others, I'll answer then later.

Keep the questions comming!

October 08, 2003

Mookie Answers

Everyone seems to have an Ask-blah, or Dear-blah, or something equally pointless but fun. So figured I'd start an Mookie Answers. A place where the poor confused adults can ask about Teenagers. Any questions welcome (but be nice-I don't want any trolls) Leave a question in the comments, or email it to mookie_riffic-at-yahoo-dot-com. I'll answer anything.

September 19, 2003


Its pretty pathetic when your dog has better table manners then your friends.

August 31, 2003


Yesterday every one got their schedules for the year, and of course everyone went around trying to figure out whoís in what classes when. I'll admit it, I do it too. And thatís why I have this story.

Ralph- lets just call him that- is to say the least a royal asshat. Or he thinks heís royalty by the crappy way he treats people. I was his friend (notice the past tense) until the idiot started to get really really stupid. Complaining and saying idiotic stuff along the lines of ďOh Rachael, I can never get a date, all the girls think Iím too fat!Ē or ďI can never date anyone because the last chick I asked out rejected meĒ. Now I maybe Iím being a bit cold hearted, but as that I did (once again, past tense) like him, and he never acted upon that when he liked me, I donít care.

Ralph even had the balls once to get mad because I wouldnít get a job where he worked. And it wasnít because of him! Contrary to what he claims, I didnít want the job because I donít want to work in Food or Retail. And according to the current events in my life (aka. Doctors office Job) I made a good choice. The moron also once got mad at me for JOKING about something. The thought just fled my mind. I did know it, honest. I just forgot.

Well anyway, Ralph is not on my good list, and Iím glad the moron didnít get the class he wanted. Why? And you might say thatís harsh. But I told him to talk to his counselor about the teachers saying you donít need the Prerequisite, I meant it in his best interest (Iím in the same class and I didnít take the Prerequisite), and he completely ignored my advice, and now he doesnít have the class. But the idiot had the nerve to IM me and get snotty about it. And I was decent! I was! And I will remain decent, but Iíll say it flat out now, I am not going to be anything more then civil and decent to this assclown. I will not tolerate his idiocy. I will follow his orders in Stage Crew, and Iíll follow them faithfully and do a good job at it, but I will not tolerate the Emotional Roller Coaster he seems determined to drag every human soul that crosses his path on.

pardon my language