Mookie Riffic

I found this monolouge very moving. Its titled Sharon, and A young girl tells what it felt like to have been raped and her plans for revenge.

Alright! Yes. Yes, I hated it! So what? For three months I felt that damned thing inside me. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't go to school. I couldn't leave the Christian Army home. I hated those boys for what they had done to me. I hated my parents and those goddamn missionaries at the home. And, most of all, I hated my baby. Everyday goddamn day I went to chapel and prayed to God for forgiveness for whatever I had done to make him let those boys rape me. At first I prayed for Him to make the baby go away. But then ... then I knew that wouldn't be enough. I wanted to get back at those boys. To hurt them like they had hurt me. I began praying to God to let me have the baby. To have it be healthy. To have it be alive so I could take it around town, show everyone what had happened to me. Tell everyone how it happened. What it felt like being raped. Name the fathers. Make the town hate them as much as I did. When I ran away, I confronted one of the boys who had raped me and told him what I planned for him and his baby. He begged me not to do it. Pleaded with me to get rid of it. Cut it out. I laughed. I wanted to ruin his life. When he threatened me, I came back to the home. To protect the baby. To keep it safe for me use against them. Then ... I miscarried. I couldn't believe it. God had had me raped then took away my instrument of revenge. The sonofabitch had killed the one thing that could've made ... my life ... acceptable. I cried for days. Then, later, I realized what had really happened. When I saw other babies, other mothers, saw how much they loved them, I wanted to love my baby, too. I wanted my baby ... to love ... not hate. And then I realized that God hadn't taken away my revenge. He had done something worse. He had taken away the one chance I had had to turn something ugly into something beautiful. He had killed innocence and hope. He had kept the evil alive.

(Pause)

Fuck God.