Rejoice! Rejoice!
Because never, ever, ever, again will I threaten castration on a male.
As I think some of you know, around my neck I have a chain of balls, on which too nuts hang. Aka Bolts. It’s quite funny at times. And I’ve had the chain for 5 years (I replaced it only once-with an identical chain), and the nuts for 2 ½. Now I don’t have them, and I’m going insane. During the course of the day, I can be seen to hold onto the chain, usually with out my conscious mind realizing it, until today. If I’m mad, I grab and twist the chain. If I’m sad, I grab and hold on to the bolts as my comfort object (I know, weird). If I’m agitated, I grab the chain. If unsure. If scared. If worried. If tired. If excited. If Anything. Most of the time I’ll grab the chain. Now it’s gone. And here’s why.
Last Thursday at lunch, I was eating lunch with MV and I grabbed his hacky sack. Pocketed it. And hence forgot it while I talked. With out realizing it, I had it during gym class, and he didn’t have it.
Friday I forgot it on my desk in the morning, and hence could not return it.
Saturday I practiced playing hacky sack, determined that I suck, and pocketed it because I was going to Orange. I wanted to play down there and try my luck.
Sunday I cooked, played hacky sack, and had fun with my friends.
Monday Morning before school I got a ride back up to Woodbridge. Half way through the hour and a half drive, I thought to make sure I had it. Of course, as luck would have it, I didn’t.
Monday At School I sheepishly told MV my error, and apologized. MV was pissed, rightly so. So were 9 other guys. Let me tell you, it takes talent to piss off 10 guys in one move.
Tuesday MV decided to “Punish” me by refusing to give me hugs. That annoys me but I disregard it. Then in Theater Class I forgot about the “Punishment” and went to give him a hug while he was in his seat. He dodged the hug, while in the process slamming his shoulder into my nose. He didn’t apologize. I then had to work on a project with him *gag* I was not in the mood.
Wednesday I decided to ignore him until he got over it. It worked well because I didn’t see him all day.
Today/Thursday one week since the start, he’s still pissed, I’m insisting on ignoring him, and I cursed wasting money on his X-mass gift. Didn’t see him till Theater class, and he was leaving for a seminar or something, don’t know, don’t care. But before I left, I broke my silence and said “hey, Wait MV!” I caught up to him, said Merry Christmas and gave him the present, then took off my nuts and chain and gave them to him with the snarky comment of “I expect they will be returned when you receive your hacky sack.”
He’s not going to be at school tomorrow. He’s going out of town. I wont get my nuts back until after Jan. 5th. Mucho badness.
*sighs* I guess this is my just deserts.
Comments
It takes a brave woman to sacrifice her nuts for a man, even if she did steal his sack...
Posted by: Susie | December 18, 2003 09:18 PM
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Hmmmm... I've been (not so) subtly hinting that you need to improve your spelling. I think I'll need to introduce you to Mr. Spell Checker. He's actually a FREAKING 2x4 THAT I WILL USE TO WHACK UPSIDE YOUR HEAD IF YOU DON'T START PAYING ATTENTIon to wha...
(sedation si gud) .
Posted by: Ted | December 19, 2003 08:35 AM
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Mookie: When you use the number between one and three, it's spelled TWO! Tee, double-you, oh. T-W-O! "Tee, oh, oh" means "also." ARGGHHHH! For example:
"I think having two people dog you about your spelling is on your dad's list, too."
Now write it out fifty times, and have a Merry Christmas.
Posted by: Victor | December 23, 2003 09:23 AM
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Posted by: Mookie | December 23, 2003 11:07 AM