Mookie Riffic

As opposed to Best Friend Female Version.

So yeah, I have two best friends, one male, one female. I was going to be kinda rude, and choose my favorite, but I got to thinking (scary thought). I was going to mention that Female Version's social life is a nightmare that I-occasionaly-have to help sort out. But then I realized the entertainment gained from her is priceless (point) and I wouldn't give that up for the world. So I thought about Male Version. His social life is hilarious too, and it requires no work (point) on my part because he's a stubborn ass about accepting an opinion from females. Granted my advice is often based on theory because, lets just say the number of "Relationships" I've been in since... since... *Glowers* forever, would number among the negatives if at all possible. Hehe.

So at this moment they are tied point wise, 1-1.

So lets consider the next area: Statistics and the Hillarity.

Male Version (MV)- No girlfriend but quote-unquote "Pretty much promised to start dating in March." Can I just say Huh? So when asked to explain, he says "I like this girl in Front Royal [not same county as his curent residence] and she can't date until March, which works because thats when I'm supposed to get my License [parents might not let him get his license]." So I have to listen to him whine. -1 Point.

Female Version (FV)- Steady boyfriend. Thank God. Down fall? Before settling with the current guy, she went through, not one, not two, but I think FOUR boyfriends in 10 days. Yikes! And the first guy, she had been dating for 6 months or so, and her current boy toy is was his best friend. Opps. -1 Point for the idiotcy.

MV- Beat me in cards the other morning. -1 point

FV- Always beats me in cards. -1 point

MV- Known for 11 years +1 point
(both get a point for sticking around.)
FV- Known for 10 +1 point

MV- Lives in same county. +1

FV- Lives an hour away! -1

MV- Not female, sorry but theres just some things I'm not going to talk to him about. -1

FV- Female. Thank god. +1

MV- Not typical male. Darn it! Can't give me any good advice. -1 (I swear he does it on purpose.. Just so he can laugh)

FV- Her advice is often to Castrate someone. Good advice, but impractical. -1

So in conclusion. Both my friends Male and Female Versions- Suck. The final score for those of you keeping track was Negative One to Negative One. And I'd be lost with out them- Perhaps saner- but lost none the less.

Oh one more thing. Never give MV peanut butter. The resulting farts will kill you.